“Conversion of Heart” – Reflection by Chris Rumback
One of Lent’s central themes is “conversion of heart.” The immediate image that probably comes to mind when we hear this phrase is self-mastery, gained by following the practices of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. While discipline is no doubt an effect of a conversion of heart, conversion goes a little deeper than this. A conversion of heart can be thought of as simply turning, or “re-turning” to God, out of love. “Love” is the key. Conversion really begins with God – as St. Paul tells us, “we love Him because He first loved us.” All God asks of us in our own conversion is simply to trust Him.
It’s sometimes easy to get caught up in myself while observing these practices of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. Rather than love, we may be motivated by things like worry, fear, and pride. “How much have I prayed?” “What if I forget to fast?” “Look how much I give!” These attitudes may push us to get the job done, so to speak, but are not true signs of a converted heart.
Lenten sacrifices are meant to remind us that we are dependent on God for everything. They urge us to remember that we are little, poor, and in need of help – just the way we’re meant to be. The only thing we can really give to God is our neediness, and this is all He asks us for. When we accept that we are like newborn babies, whose neediness never causes their parents to love them less, we become free to truly love God. This acceptance gives us the motivation of love we need in order to allow ourselves to be converted. Both the times when we succeed and when we fail become opportunities to joyfully remember that we’re dependent on Him, and that His grace is constantly working through us. This is where a true conversion of heart begins – all God asks of us is to trust Him.
Chris Rumback is a junior at Conception Seminary College, and studies for the Diocese of Wichita, KS. He first felt the call to priesthood during his senior year at Trinity Catholic High School, and entered the seminary the following semester. He enjoys spiritual reading and playing music with friends.
